About Me
Less ambiguity. more certainty. more stability. more love.
This blog site was designed for women who love to keep their husbands in mental and emotional bondage. Here, the controlling wife is celebrated, not criticized. The following details my journey here.
I was in my early forties raising two children while my husband ran his business. Though we loved each other, we had too many downs and not enough ups. Sex was becoming less frequent, major resentments were pent up in both him and me, and it seemed like the prospect of a shift was impossible.
I noticed that occasionally, the power dynamics would shift to one end or the other, and this usually brought along with it a tremendous sense of stability, happiness, and light-heartedness. Whether he would assume the dominant position and me the submissive, or the reverse, there seemed to be a real staying power to the peace in the home, at least for a short while. But as soon as that power shifted back to the middle, back the place where the egalitarians deceivingly tell us it "should be", hell would ensue all over again.
So one day, during a phase where the power was shifted in my corner, i decided I wasn't going to let it come back to the middle again. I wanted a peaceful and loving relationship with my husband, and I wasn't going to insanely keep making the mistake of trying this and trying that. I already knew what worked, I was just kidding myself, wasting valuable time.
One day, my husband came home from work, and I was waiting for him. I had dropped the children to Grandma's for the evening to make sure we weren't going to be disrupted. I told him to come into the bedroom and sit on the bed. I walked in and stood in front of him, looking down at him. Suddenly, all kinds of self-doubt crept into my thoughts. "He’s too macho, too strong, too independent. This won't work on him. He'll laugh me off and get up and walk away". But I remembered what my ultimate goal was. I was fighting for a lengthy, loving, peaceful marriage and I wasn't going to let my fears prevent me from getting what I came for. So I began.
“There is a problem that is affecting our marriage and we’re not leaving this room until we do something about it."
He started to say something and I raised my hand to cut him off.
"This house will no longer be a house of pettiness or laziness or criticism. There is no more disagreement in this home. From now on, you do as I say and I am the ultimate authority figure in your life. Do you understand me?"
He gazed at me, curious as to where I was going next.
"These are the rules:
- “You are going to be a more responsive husband than you have been. You are going to pay more attention to my needs. Do you understand?” “Yes”
- “You are not to lie to me or in any way try to deceive me. Do you understand?” “Yes”
- "Your opinions matter to me and you will freely share them with me, but you will not argue with me. I make total and final choices on both of our behalf. Do you understand" "Yes"
- "You are not to ejaculate without my knowledge and permission. Do you understand?” “Yes”
- “I will be the judge of your performance as a husband. It will be your highest priority to win my approval of your performance. Do you understand?” “Yes”
- “When you meet my expectations you will be rewarded, when you do not you will be disciplined. You will accept that discipline without rebellion. Do you understand?” “Yes”
- "I am your authority. You will obey me and respect that authority as final and total. Do you understand?" "Yes"
When I was done explaining the rules to him, he was at least moderately cooperative and that gave me enough steam to keep going.
“Take down your pants.” He hesitated. “NOW!” I demanded. He undid his belt and let his pants fall to the floor. The whole thing felt strangely inevitable, to both of us I think. He didn’t protest. He didn’t tell me I was being ridiculous. He simply lowered his underwear and blushed a deeper red.
“What is happening here?” I asked him. He was erect. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.” He stammered. “It won’t be like that for long.” I assured him. Then I patted my lap with the hairbrush. He tried to look confused. My confidence began to wane. Then I looked at him standing there looking so silly with his pants around his ankles and simply tapped my lap with more authority. He took his position over my lap without a word.
My first few smacks were tentative and didn’t elicit a sound from him. I took a few harder strokes. He whined and I could feel his erection dwindling away. There was nothing pleasant in this for him now. I let myself think about the way he had virtually ignored my over the past couple of years; ignored me while stroking himself regularly with pornography. I let him have it! Four dozen more hard strokes. His butt was a brilliant red all over and welts were taking shape. He squirmed ineffectually and begged me to stop. It was cathartic for me. All the anger I had stored up was coming out.
Finally, he started crying. I stopped and told him he could get up now. His erection was long gone and his eyes were watery and red. Almost as soon as he stood up he knelt down and hugged my legs. He knelt there, apologizing profusely, as I ran my fingers through his hair.
With my anger abated, I loved him at that moment in a stronger way than I had in years. All the frustration, anger and doubt I had felt toward him was washed away and no longer stood between me and my love for him. I felt an urge to pull his face into my groin
I told him to pleasure me with his mouth. I told him his goal would be to keep me on the edge of orgasm for half an hour before making me cum. It was the sweetest he’s been to me in years. Since there was not way for him to see the clock with his face buried, he took me way beyond the half hour. When I was satisfied I let him up. I stroked his genitals softly. “That was good Patrick,” I told him, “but you will not have an orgasm tonight. In fact,” I said as I gently touched him, “it might be a while before I think you’ve earned one.” He just moaned. Then I took his penis in my hand and caressed him up and down until he was close to climax and stopped. When I stopped touching him he kissed and hugged and cuddled with me like he hadn’t in years. I went to sleep as he caressed and massaged my back. It was a wonderful sleep. I finally had my marriage back.
A Married Woman’s Guide to a happier more fulfilling relationship has formed a source of inspiration for hundreds of married couples.
Most couples have invigorating sex all throughout courtship and the early years of marriage. And then, what? You know how it happens, right? You have children, buy a bigger house, and your parents get older and need care. Before you know it, sex is on the back burner.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Read the Married Woman’s Guide, bring theory into practice and yes, your husband will once more bring you flowers, open doors for you and generally offer you his open and sincere heart. Yes, it is a lot of reading, and quite a bit of work, but not nearly as much work as the constant arguing and disagreeing, threats for divorce, angry outbursts, and emotional upheaval. Get your love life to what it is when you first met, and keep it there!
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